Then Almitra spoke again and said, And what of Marriage, master?

And he answered saying:

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love;

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even the strings of a lute are alone, though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts but not into each other’s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together;

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow. Khalil Gibran - ‘The Prophet’

As I work with young couples struggling with their marriage, I realise the basic understanding of what actually makes a marriage is missing.

When a young couple enters into marriage they go into it with a whole lot of expectations and hopes believing in the happy ever after. Through the rose tinted glasses they perceive a world full of love, romance where everything is perfect to the T. As days turn into months, disillusion sets in due to unrealistic expectations. The same habits that they found cute during the courtship period now trigger annoyance. As work starts taking priority, a sort of routine sets into life, differences start creeping in and complaints begin… You don’t love me the way you did… We don’t get to spend time together... We don’t go out as much as we used to earlier and etc.

On a Karmic level, marriage is the most karmic relationship which comes with quite a few karmic lessons attached. When two people come together in marriage usually they are like chalk and cheese, poles apart in their likes, attitudes and habits. The beauty of marriage is in unconditional acceptance, in the chalk accepting the cheese with all that is and the cheese accepting the chalk as it is and becoming “Chalkeese” with its own distinctive flavour. Our spouse is our mirror .In them we find a reflection of our sides- The shadow and the light. Sometimes our spouse comes to trigger our wounds. As a couple, the priority should be to master these lessons so that a pattern is broken, lessons are learnt, and joy and happiness becomes a norm in the couple

Just like every other relationship, marriage too goes through its highs and lows. Stay committed. The fabric of marriage is woven with the weaves of love, trust, mutual respect and companionship. It is as fragile and as strong as is the tensile strength of each of the weave woven, more the rigidity more chances of its tearing apart ... more its suppleness the more its ability to bounce back from setbacks. Marriage is not about proprietorship, it's more about companionship. It is about evolving together. It is accepting your spouse in their totality with their flaws and faults ...it is accepting him or her in all the varied roles and relationship, it is giving each other the space to grow...and not restricting it so much that one is left gasping for breath and expression. Making marriage heaven or hell is a personal choice....Make it magical! It is one of the most beautiful relationship within which you can live so many of your relationships....keep the romance, love and care alive till you breathe your last!

Angelic Blessings!!!

Swati Anurag